so

so I just composed a really long email to andrew that I didn't actually write this moment, but wrote a long time ago, well, a sort of time ago. CLoser to the time we broke up. And it's a list of things I remember about us. And reading some of the things he said was possibly the most heart rending thing I have done in a long time. So I think I'm going to put the list away now. And I think I'll wait to see if I still want to send this email tomorrow. Or monday. Because It's powerful, and he should have it, and I desperately want to send it, but I think I'll wait until an hour that isn't judgeable. goddamnit.